As the latest series of Celebrity Hunted got underway on Sunday night, there were one or two things about the opening episode that suggested it may have been filmed quite some time ago. Firstly, the UK railway train from which the 12 celebrities made their daring escape at the beginning of the show appeared to be running on time.
Secondly, in the fake TV news reports which traditionally set the scene for this show Piers Morgan appeared still to be broadcasting on an actual TV news channel, as opposed to indulging in his more recent pastime of yelling into oblivion on YouTube.
Thirdly, one of the Hunters mentioned that Danielle Harold’s EastEnders character Lola was due to die on screen while Harold was on the run. I knew that she had died a while ago, but I was still surprised when I checked and discovered Lola’s death was actually broadcast on 31 May, 2023.
However, perhaps the biggest hint that this series had been gathering a large amount of dust on Channel 4’s shelves for 19 months came when Giovanni Pernice was described as “one of the professionals on Strictly Come Dancing.”
I probably don’t need to explain why that description was so out of date. Suffice it to say it’s unlikely that Giovanni’s most recent celebrity dance partner Amanda Abbington was among the millions of viewers cheering Giovanni on as he did his best to evade capture alongside his fellow professional hoofer Kai Widdrington.
Pernice’s job loss was undoubtedly the Channel 4 PR team’s gain. They probably couldn’t believe their luck that fate — and the BBC’s HR department — had saved them from the potentially thankless task of trying to drum up some interest in this latest run. And they were no doubt rubbing their hands in glee when the first footage came back and the Italian dancer could be seen proudly declaring “I’ve always been the villain.”
Let’s be honest, most of the other fugitives featured in this sixth series could still have been on the run now and the world of showbiz would not have reported them missing.
Despite Danielle Harold managing to squeeze in a high-profile appearance on I’m a Celebrity a few months after filming Celebrity Hunted, I would argue Denise Welch is the biggest name among the latest fugitives — although her being on the run with her artist husband Lincoln Townley does diminish that duo’s collective star rating somewhat.
Elsewhere we have Duncan James from Blue teaming up with Christine McGuinness, who is listed as “model and author” even though “Paddy’s ex-wife” would’ve perhaps been a more helpful clue.
Danielle Harold has been paired with fellow soap actress Kimberly Hart-Simpson, while GB News anchor Simon McCoy has ITV News host Lucrezia Millarini, who came 11th (out of 12) in Dancing On Ice 2020, for company.
Rounding off the disappearing dozen are podcasters David Whitely and Zeze Millz, who are not exactly household names — although some of you may recognise Millz if you watched last year’s Celebrity Big Brother.
Not that the lack of star names makes Celebrity Hunted any less watchable, of course. We should also remember that everyone who takes part does so in aid of Stand Up To Cancer. The best way to enjoy the show is to take it about as seriously as Jack Bauer’s ridiculous escapades on any given series of 24.
The fact that it is scripted, contrived and edited to within an inch of its life ought to be obvious to anyone who has watched a single episode.
Remarkably, that does not seem to prevent every third #CelebrityHunted post you will read on social media being a triumphant gotcha about how it is so obviously scripted, contrived and edited to within an inch of its life. That said, there is one area which could do with being less scripted: The forced banter back at Hunted HQ.
None of the Hunters is blessed with superb acting skills or supreme comic timing, which can make the HQ scenes a little painful to watch.
To be fair, Ray ‘The Chief’ Howard’s line about bleached blondes Danielle and Kimberly being “the last of the Targaryens” did raise a smile — despite the fact that we all know it’s actually Jon Snow.
The one other Hunter who lightens my mood is The Chief’s new sidekick Steve Hersee, although admittedly that’s because it tickles me how much he looks like he could play Young Uncle Bryn if the BBC ever decided to make a Gavin & Stacey prequel. (Memo to the BBC: that is absolutely not a suggestion).
My only real gripe about this show is the continued presence of the aforementioned fake TV news reports. Much as I enjoy watching the likes of Channel 5’s Dan Walker hamming it up for the cameras, it always makes me a little sad that Hunted isn’t actually played out in real time.
Just imagine the live news reports as the entire country joins in the hunt for, or attempts to aid and abet, that bloke who once played a serial killer in an old series of Luther or that woman who once represented the UK at Eurovision in the mid-90s.
Unfortunately, the huge financial burden of making such a show means it will almost certainly never happen: Channel 4 is skint.
Celebrity Hunted airs at 9pm, Sundays on Channel 4, and streams on Channel 4’s website.