An old-timer refuses to look in the mirror and realise his time is up. He can’t accept that stepping away would be the right thing for his country. Joe Biden, um, wait, Cristiano Ronaldo had a difficult Friday night, ending his tournament goalless after taking 23 shots. Perhaps, in a brief moment of self-reflection, he’ll realise that his lot from here on in is dismantling Saudi Pro League relegation battlers. Or perhaps his Portugal manager, Roberto Martínez, gives him a cuddle, whispers something about his selflessness in refusing to ever find the net, and ingrains a novel thought: FOUR MORE YEARS!
Germany’s dreams of glory are also over as is Turkey’s underdog run, and England looked as if they were heading out until Bukayo Saka decided enough was enough against Switzerland, apparently turning the Düsseldorf Arena into the Emirates as he cut in from the right to lash in the equaliser. Cue the extra 30 minutes and a penalty display which was thoroughly un-English. Where were the nerves? Where was the sense of history crashing down on them? Where was Ricardo, gloves off, sending them out in the quarters?
Instead there was the audacity of a newest generation, one representing a break from the first, more cathartic penalty win of the Southgate era: none of the five scorers lined up against Colombia six years ago. All were ice-cold in their approach, even Saka when he had so many reasons not to be. The racists were ready to bust out a sequel to their original three years ago, and such is the peculiarity of their situation, they were, as Rio Ferdinand pointed out, probably celebrating when Saka slotted into the bottom right corner. His smile upon scoring will go down as one of the most wonderful images of this tournament.
Meanwhile Jordan Pickford has normalised his excellence in an England shirt, establishing a reputation as a nerveless shootout operator who has the perfect combination of crazy and calm. But the sight of his water bottle, with the perfectly typed-up and formatted guide on where to dive, was something to lament, highlighting the formalisation of the spot-kick cheat sheet. There was something more romantic about the old way, of a crumpled, sweat-stained, handwritten note tucked into the socks, as Jens Lehmann showcased at the 2006 World Cup against Argentina. Nonetheless, the more refined approach is working out pretty well for Pickford, to the point that penalties should almost be welcomed by England as the final week begins. Away to the last four we go.
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Congratulations to all those who responded to the danger hovering over our beautiful country. Long live diversity, long live the republic, long live France. The fight goes on.”
Marcus Thuram responds to news that the left-green alliance have kept the far right out of power in France.
The Football Daily pod squad are back: Max Rushden is joined by Barney Ronay, Jonathan Liew and Jonathan Wilson to preview the semi-finals.
Given the huffing and puffing and general immobility of various ageing forwards during Euro 2024, I’m surprised that Big Website hasn’t put together a quiz – ‘Professional Footballer or Easter Island Statue?’” – Darren Leathley.
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