The stigma surrounding sex toys has persisted throughout history, despite their existence for thousands of years. While the earliest recorded dildos date back 32,000 years, our society’s perceptions of sexual pleasure have not evolved significantly. The idea of embracing pleasure purely for its own sake has yet to be fully normalized. Nevertheless, there is absolutely no shame in possessing a sex toy. In fact, owning one can be an empowering experience, allowing you to take your own pleasure into your hands. Discover how to do just that in the following sections.
In an era where discussions and depictions of sex are increasingly prevalent, it’s surprising that these conversations primarily revolve around conventional forms of sexual activity. It’s been twenty-two years since “Sex and the City” broached the topic of vibrator use, and five years since “Broad City” discussed pegging. However, we have yet to fully embrace the idea of sex toys as everyday household items, akin to tampons or candles.
The sensation of embarrassment that might arise if a friend or partner discovered your use of a sex toy is a clear manifestation of the lingering stigma surrounding them. This feeling is further compounded when you share your excitement about a vibrator, and someone questions its necessity or suggests that a partner would suffice instead of a piece of plastic.
Sex toy stigma remains evident through archaic laws against sex toy ownership that persist in some states. Confronting such stigmatizing attitudes is a common experience, largely stemming from the pervasive sex-negative messaging we encounter. Nevertheless, these challenges should not deter you from pursuing your own pleasure.
Women face gender-based stigma, and this takes on various forms in real life. From a young age, girls and women encounter stereotypes, including the pervasive issue of period shaming, which contributes to over half of women feeling ashamed of their menstruation. Consequently, the continued taboo surrounding female sexual pleasure may be disheartening but is not entirely surprising.
While advertisements for erectile dysfunction medication can be found during dinner commercial breaks, discussions about women’s sexual pleasure remain an uncomfortable topic for many. This stigma not only proves irritating but also perpetuates an environment in which women are deprived of the same opportunities for pleasure and desire that men enjoy. The act of women masturbating is seldom openly discussed, resulting in numerous women missing out on the physical and mental well-being benefits that self-pleasure can offer.
When it comes to facing sex toy stigma and embracing your choices, experts offer valuable insights on how to navigate this societal challenge. Much of their advice revolves around open communication: discussing feelings of shame can diminish their influence over you. It’s essential to understand and acknowledge the emotions you experience, as doing so can help you overcome them.
Many feelings of shame may be rooted in values instilled during childhood, whether through religious teachings or sex-negative sex education. Realizing that your current beliefs differ from those you were raised with can be a liberating step toward shedding lingering shame.
To tackle this cultural stigma, it’s essential to address your personal insecurities and anxieties regarding sex. Often, people worry that buying a sex toy signifies an obsession with sex or an inability to find satisfaction through other means. It’s crucial to recognize that neither of these notions is accurate.
The increasing sales of sex toys, with over half of women having tried them, provide concrete evidence that your choices are entirely normal, healthy, and shared by many others.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to sex toy store staff or online customer service for guidance. They tend to be more approachable than you might expect, as they understand the stigma attached to sex toys and the apprehension that can come with seeking advice. They can help you feel at ease and select a toy that suits your preferences.
After acquiring a sex toy, keep the conversation going. Sharing your experiences with your close friends can create a more open dialogue around sex toys. This is the silver lining of challenging stigma: you can break it down within your community. The more comfortable you are discussing your preferred sex toys with friends, the more encouraged they will be to share their experiences as well.
Eliminating sex toy stigma is a joyful endeavor. It involves not only acquiring body-safe toys that enhance your sexual pleasure but also openly discussing them with your friends. These simple actions contribute to creating a more inclusive and welcoming world for women seeking pleasure. When conversations about sex toys become commonplace, stigma will naturally lose its grip.
