The mother of Bella Thomson, the 10-year-old from Swift Current, Sask., who inspired millions of followers with her health journey before its tragic end in July, is carrying on her legacy of advocacy.
Bella, who went by Bella Brave on social media, was born with several rare health conditions. Her mother Kyla Thomson said Bella was being treated at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, also known as SickKids, before she died on July 14 after being placed in a medically-induced coma.
Kyla said it was difficult for her, her husband and their five-year-old son to navigate the mental health support system in the wake of Bella’s death, particularly because they were outside their home province when it happened.
She said the family was given a stack of forms and reading materials on grief, but it was overwhelming and, after weeks passed and she finally had the strength to seek help, she discovered she couldn’t access most of the services because they weren’t available to Saskatchewan residents.
“When you put that on the grieving parent — to do the work to get resources for themselves, that’s either just not going to happen or it’s going to be too difficult.”
Kyla Thomson, pictured, her husband Lyle and son Waylon frequently visit Bella’s gravesite at Memorial Gardens Cemetery in Swift Current. (Bonnie Allen/CBC)
She said she had to come back to Saskatchewan, get a face-to-face appointment with a doctor, get a referral from the doctor, and then wait for a call.
“I didn’t realize it would be so difficult to obtain them,” she said.
Kyla posted on Instagram about her difficulties with grief counselling earlier this month. She said she’s had hundreds of parents reach out to her since saying her words resonated with them.
She said one change she feels could alleviate seemingly “insurmountable barriers” would be having a grief counsellor contact parents within 24 hours of a child’s passing.
Lindsay Gareau, owner of Prairie Heart Counselling, opened the I Love You More Wellness Centre in Regina in memory of a Saskatchewan mother who died by suicide last year.
Gareau said that, as a social worker in Saskatchewan, she can only provide insurance-covered counselling to Saskatchewan residents. Gareau said the onus of “reaching out” shouldn’t only fall on people dealing with grief.
“The system needs to find a different method so that people aren’t left to try and navigate the most devastating time of their life on their own,” she said.
Bella was being treated at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, also known as SickKids, before she died on July 14. (Bonnie Allen/CBC)
Kyla was eventually able to get in touch with her family doctor and get counselling appointments with the help of friends, family and her online community of supporters.
By the time she was sitting across from a counsellor, a month had passed due to delays, confusion and red tape, she said. She said she worries other grieving parents without the support she had could fall through the cracks.
“There’s so much pain and trauma that continues on afterwards that every day matters,” she said.
Kyla said she believes Bella would be proud of her for sharing her story.
“I think that’s everything my heart needs right now. I need to carry on her legacy this way. She’s always been about that — she has come to know so many friends in the hospital and her heart has always wanted to help them,” Kyla said.
