In a world saturated with technology, with connection a click away, we may well wonder: Why are so many adults and kids feeling anxious, withdrawn, or depressed? As Jonathan Haidt argues in his controversial 2024 book The Anxious Generation, children’s attention has shifted drastically to the virtual world. The effects are profound, and profoundly negative, especially for teenage girls. As Haidt puts it, many kids are experiencing a “tidal wave” of suffering.
As for us, our conversations tend to be reduced to transactional exchanges or superficial online interactions. As we scroll through social media, and as our kids follow suit, we’re bombarded with curated snippets of other people’s lives, often leaving us envious. At the same time, genuine, meaningful dialogue has dwindled.
Our talk about tech over-focuses on social media.
Source: Pexels, Ron Lach
It’s a highly negative picture, focused on the effects of social media. As a Harvard lecturer, mother of two, and author of the book The Art of Talking with Children, I believe it’s far from the whole story.
While I agree with the real risks of social media overuse, I fear these ideas can turn us away from digital technologies entirely. Instead, we ought to think more broadly and shift away from equating technology with social media. We should instead consider all the ways we and our kids can engage with the digital world.
And we should raise a crucial question: Can technology, so often blamed for our disconnection and poor mental health, be harnessed to revitalize our conversations and deepen our relationships? For ourselves and our children, can technology—in a re-envisioned form—become a gift?
The answer, I believe, is a resounding yes. But it requires a shift in perspective.
We need to move beyond seeing technology as a mere tool for information consumption or distraction and reimagine it as a catalyst for connection, creativity, and shared experiences. This means rethinking the places and spaces where conversations unfold and embracing innovative ways to weave technology into daily interactions.
We need to move from thinking only about the “what” of our conversations to considering the “where.” How can we design our homes, workplaces, and schools in ways that nurture our creative and playful conversations with kids and with each other, using technology as a catalyst? Such designs might not have to involve much time or money. Instead, if we’re thoughtful, we can envision interventions to enhance the ways we relate, connect, and learn.
Let’s design places and spaces for conversation.
Source: Pexels, Pixabay
My journey towards this understanding began as a speech-language pathologist, working with children and adults facing communication challenges. I witnessed firsthand the power of simple interventions—a picture board, an iPad, a well-placed prompt—to unlock conversations and foster understanding.
These experiences, coupled with my research on “Rich Talk”—a framework emphasizing adaptive, child-centered conversations—have solidified my belief that meaningful dialogue is the cornerstone of human connection.
But it’s not just about talking more. It’s about talking differently—with intention, with empathy, with a genuine desire to connect. And it’s about creating environments that nurture these kinds of conversations, environments that invite us to engage with each other and the world around us in new and exciting ways.
This is where the work of researchers including Dr. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek comes in. Hirsh-Pasek and colleagues have shown the profound impact of environmental prompts on sparking meaningful conversations. Their research, involving simple prompts in grocery stores (like “Where does milk come from?”) and playful learning landscapes like “Parkopolis” and “Fraction Ball,” has shown how subtle changes to play spaces can ignite richer interactions and learning opportunities.
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Inspired by Hirsh-Pasek’s findings, I believe we can leverage technology to create even more engaging and personalized interactive environments that foster dialogue and connection between parents and children. Imagine a museum where augmented reality overlays on artifacts allow parents and children to manipulate 3D models together, triggering discussions about their function and historical significance.
Picture a playground where AI-powered sensors respond to children’s movements and voices, generating dynamic soundscapes and light displays that encourage collaborative storytelling and imaginative play with caregivers. Consider a child telling a story aloud to their parent, then seeing a visual “story,” as natural language processing and machine learning algorithms animate their words. This technology could even facilitate collaborative storytelling, allowing parents and children to build upon each other’s narratives in real time, fostering empathy and perspective-taking.
For older adults, adaptive screens could capture spoken reminiscences, generate personalized digital scrapbooks with images and videos, and even use this data to create interactive timelines that families can explore together. Such projects could combat feelings of social isolation while preserving family history and strengthening intergenerational bonds.
Such technologies could dramatically enhance how we learn, play, and connect with one another. These ideas may seem futuristic, but the technologies to make them a reality already exist. We have the tools; we just need the imagination and the will to apply them in ways that prioritize human connection.
We also need more oversight and ethical considerations to prevent memories and stories from being stolen or misused. As we see in the current battles of writers against AI technologies, it would be too easy to have personal memories appropriated for unfair uses. Yet with oversight and by democratizing these technologies, and making them accessible in libraries, community centers, and schools, I. believe we can mitigate and monitor those risks. We can empower people of all ages to engage in richer, more meaningful conversations.
This shift requires us to rethink the design of our spaces, both physical and digital. We need to create environments that invite interaction, curiosity, and playful exploration. If we think out of our traditional silos, we can use technology to bridge generational divides, connecting generations through shared experiences. But technology alone is not enough.
We also need to cultivate a culture that values meaningful conversation, a culture that encourages us to put down our devices and engage with the world around us. This means fostering active listening skills, promoting empathy and understanding, and creating opportunities for face-to-face interaction.
The challenge lies in finding the right balance—inviting technology as an adjunct to human creativity, not a replacement. It’s about creating spaces where technology supports and empowers, allowing authentic human interaction to take center stage.
Embracing this challenge means reimagining the places and spaces of conversation in the digital age. This is not just a technological challenge; it’s a social and cultural one. It requires us to rethink our relationship with technology, to move beyond passive consumption and fears, to embrace active creation and collaboration.
And it asks us to prioritize human connection, to invest in the relationships that enrich our lives and make us who we are.
For more about talking with children, see my book The Art of Talking with Children (HarperOne, 2022). I’d love to hear your thoughts; contact me at contact@rebeccarolland.com.
