It might be a little early to start thinking about baubles, tinsel, and stockings, but nobody told Red One about that. The first mainstream Christmas movie out of the blocks in 2024 — we probably can’t count Terrifier 3 — delivers a new take on Santa Claus, within the world of a glossy, CGI-heavy action blockbuster.
But cinema has a proud history of doing slightly different things with Jolly Saint Nick. Once the tremendous Edmund Gwenn won an Oscar for playing a very traditional Santa in the 1947 version of Miracle On 34th Street, filmmakers decided they probably ought to take a slightly different tack in order to stand out from the red-jacketed crowd.
That has given us plenty of highs and plenty of lows over the years of Christmas movies. So let’s celebrate and commiserate over some of the most unconventional big screen Santa Claus characters from throughout history.
Red One imagines the North Pole as a high-security, quasi-militarised operation in which everything is geared towards protecting Nick, as played by JK Simmons. In the trailer, we meet this version of Santa Claus in the gym, demanding to lift heavier weights. He’s a slightly grumpy version of Santa Claus, as well as being a musclebound badass.
Read more: The festive movies to watch for Christmas 2024 (Yahoo Entertainment, 8 min read)
It’s all the more surprising then when he’s kidnapped, sending his head of security (Dwayne Johnson) and a hired gun (Chris Evans) off to find him. Santa seems like he’s going to be a peripheral presence in this film, but Simmons is certainly doing something different — even to his own previous take on Father Christmas in the exceptional Netflix animation Klaus.
The cuddly, charming version of Santa Claus we all know and love got its antithesis in the 2003 comedy movie Bad Santa — the less said about its risible sequel, the better. Billy Bob Thornton’s character is technically a shopping mall Santa rather than the real deal, but his hard-smoking, hard-drinking, and hard-swearing take on the big guy is one of the most memorable big screen Saint Nicks.
Read more: Bad Santa 2 Director: Billy Bob Wanted ‘Any Crude, Awful Joke’ in Film (Variety)
Bad Santa is as filthy as it is funny and is one of the toughest films to appear on the standard rotation of festive classics. It’s all down to the uniquely twisted Santa Claus at the centre of it all.
In 2022, genre specialist Tommy Wirkola took on Santa Claus in the aptly-named Christmas thriller Violent Night. David Harbour plays a battle-hardened version of Santa who goes to bat for a family in brutal fashion when they are targeted by mercenaries on Christmas Eve.
Read more: David Harbour reveals uniquely physical Santa training for Violent Night (Yahoo Entertainment, 4 min read)
Violent Night is every bit as blood-soaked as its title suggests and sees Harbour utilise his hulking physicality to make a version of Father Christmas who’s more likely to swing a hammer at someone’s head than invite them to perch on his knee. It’s a very funny film too, packed with more festive puns than you can shake a candy cane at.
On paper, the version of Santa Claus in The Christmas Chronicles, as played by Kurt Russell, is quite a normal one. However, in Russell’s hands, this is Santa as a cool uncle with a love for rock n roll music and boasting more swagger than any of us can ever hope to have. Whether he’s leading a cell-block sing along or delivering Christmas carol lyrics like they’re badass one-liners, he’s an unforgettable Santa.
Read more: Kurt Russell says playing Santa is like playing Elvis (PA Media)
Sometimes, you can reinvent Santa without completely turning him into a mythical beast or a hammer-wielding warrior. If you have an actor with the charisma of a Kurt Russell, sometimes that’s all you need to really make an impact.
Rare Exports has to be seen to be believed. Set against the palpable chill of Lapland, this is a fascinating twist on Santa mythology. It’s the sort of Christmas movie that you’d never expect to see Hollywood make, so thank goodness for the weird world of European cinema. The film follows a group of reindeer hunters who mistakenly capture a strange, sinister, old man who might just be the real Santa Claus.
Read more: The best Christmas films of the 21st century (Yahoo Entertainment)
The eventual reveal of the movie’s true Santa Claus is a dark surprise that is on an entirely different level to the old man featured in the trailers and marketing material. It’s certainly much braver than making Santa a gym bunny. Sorry, Red One.
Hulk Hogan was one of America’s biggest stars at the tail end of the 1980s, having become the number one hero of WWF just as the WrestleMania era was turning the wrestling world into an entertainment juggernaut. Around the time that Santa With Muscles arrived in 1996, Hogan had spent a few years trying to parlay his wrestling fame into a movie career, with very little success.
Read more: WWE legend Hulk Hogan reveals why a biopic about him starring Chris Hemsworth never happened (BANG Showbiz, 2 min read)
Santa With Muscles didn’t help with that. Hogan plays a millionaire body-builder who hits his head and subsequently believes himself to be Santa Claus. This puts him on a collision course with an evil scientist for reasons best known to whoever thought this movie was a good idea. There’s a reason Santa With Muscles is a little-remembered curio, and it’s the same reason you don’t see Hogan in many Hollywood films these days. It’s more than a little naff.
Hulk Hogan, to be fair, is basically a Hollywood success story next to Bill Goldberg. The wrestler best known for his undefeated streak in WWF rival World Championship Wrestling (WCW) during the 1990s made his debut as a movie leading man in 2005’s Santa’s Slay — an addition to the surprisingly large canon of festive horror.
Read more: The Most Terrifying Christmas Horror Movies Ever Made (Men’s Health)
The film imagines Santa as the spawn of Satan, only delivering presents because he lost a bet with an angel. After a millennium of damping down his bloodlust, he’s free to kill again. Cue lots of Christmassy improvised weaponry and knowingly silly splatter. To be fair to Goldberg, he’s clearly having a lot of fun and the movie doesn’t take itself at all seriously. When you’re theorising that Father Christmas is the son of the Devil, you have to be willing to laugh at yourself.
Red One is in UK cinemas from 6 November.
