“Cosplaying as Sir Alex Ferguson or Jose Mourinho might not go down too well, it could be a disaster”.
It’s the job we all think and say we could do, in the knowledge our words will never be put to the test. A football manager.
But this weekend, Duncan McKay, an avowed football fanatic, Hibernian supporter and star of BBC Scotland’s A View from the Terrace, will do just that as he takes charge of 142-year-old club Albion Rovers for their Lowland League match against Hearts B.
It’s not a gimmick or a schtick, this is a fully-fledged game of football, at Cliftonhill on Saturday at three o’clock, with all the bells and whistles and with three points on the line.
This could well be a world first as a fan – with zero managerial experience – swaps the stands for the dugout.
“In one way, it’s thrilling, in the other, it’s terrifying,” McKay said of his Saturday shift to BBC Scotland.
“We’ve certainly all had managers of our clubs where we’re left thinking, ‘even I could do a job there’, ‘I could get a better tune out of them’, but in reality, we probably know we’re never going to have to test that.
“I think it’s going to be a small insight into, actually, it’s possibly a lot more difficult than everyone thinks.”
And it will all be caught on camera, part of the much-loved A View from the Terrace segment, ‘Put A Shift In’.
From being mascot at Stark’s Park, playing in goal for John O’Groats out in the Netherlands to contributing to a Challenge Cup draw with David Gray, McKay has put in some pretty mad shifts.
But crossing the pitch at Cliftonhill, an old-fashioned gem of a ground, is the wildest of the lot. This has consequences. For both involved parties.
Two seasons ago, Albion’s 104-year stint in the senior leagues came to an end as they were relegated following a play-off defeat by The Spartans.
Like all who dropped down before them, they’ve struggled to adjust to life in the Lowland League, the fifth tier of Scottish football, but are managed by a stalwart of the game in Sandy Clark.
However, the former Rangers, West Ham United and Heart of Midlothian striker will take a side step to allow McKay to bring his computer game, Football Manager, experience to life.
“I suppose on Albion Rovers’ point, it’s brave,” McKay said. “The fact Sandy’s even up for this is intriguing and has kind of got me interested.”
The two are yet to trade tactics, as part of the segment – alongside BAFTA award-winning producer Duncan Cowles, who is a self-confessed non-football fan – is to be authentic and “experience things as they go along”.
That could spell trouble, though.
Rovers’ have only had one game since McKay’s move was confirmed, so he’s been short on scouting and studying time.
“They’ve only had one game, and they won that 5-0,” he pointed out. “Unless we win 6-0, which I’m not against, it might look like we’ve fallen back a little bit.
“I’ve been watching highlights and going through player profiles and stuff like that, trying to work out who’s playing well.
“I’d like to think I’ll be a little guided by Sandy in case I inadvertently put a right back up front or a striker in goals.
“Hopefully, I don’t do too much damage to their reputation.”
Rovers sit eighth in the Lowland League, five points ahead of Hearts B with a game in hand, too. They’re vying for their sixth win of the season.
In their two league meetings last season, the bairns from Gorgie came out on top. A tale all too familiar for Easter Road regular McKay.
“As a Hibs fan, Hearts have given me a fair amount of anguish over the years and so I don’t really want even their B team to have the opportunity to cause me hurt,” he said.
“We all know beating Hearts, a Hearts fan even, at tiddlywinks is fun.”
Whether McKay gets his wish or not remains to be seen, but his pals from the TV show will certainly have an abundance of laughs – arguably at his expense – as they plan to pitch up at Cliftonhill to cheer him on.
But what happens if fun is reflected in Saturday’s result? Is McKay ready to make the move into management?
“If Steve Clarke wants to add me to his staff, I’m open to international travel, put it that way,” he added.
“I would imagine there won’t be a clamour as I cross the pitch on Saturday at 4.45pm from Rovers fans that I’m going to be asked to stay on… but you never know.”
Sandy Clark better watch this space.
You can see how Duncan gets on when A View from the Terrace airs next Friday – available on iPlayer from 12:00 GMT.
